Stop Expecting Danger Where None Exists

Feb 22

Stop Expecting Danger Where None Exists

I had a dream that I was stranded in the ocean. I don’t know how I got out there, but I was out there and worried and scared. I was treading water and could see the shoreline, but couldn’t swim to get there.

I felt something bump my leg and I saw a fin come out of the water. I got more scared and started to scream out, “Help, it’s a shark! It’s going to bite me, it’s going to kill me. Help, it’s a shark!” The animal kept bumping me and I kept freaking out.

I had a knife in my hand, a small diver knife. The next time the animal swam by, the fin in the air, I struck out and stabbed my knife into the animal’s back, just below the fin.

But the animal didn’t stop, even though it was hurt. It continued to nudge me and bump into me, and then it raised its head from the water. I realized at that moment it wasn’t a shark, it was a dolphin, and it was trying to help me.

I started telling the dolphin I was sorry for hurting it. I thought it was a shark. I was scared. The dolphin nudged me again and I grabbed onto its fin, knowing it had to be in pain the entire time. I wanted to remove the knife but I was too scared. I wanted to help it but I didn’t know how. I kept telling the dolphin, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you were a shark. I’m sorry.”

Soon I was able to touch the bottom again and the dolphin swam away, my knife still in its back under the fin. I hurt because I hurt the dolphin, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

During my prayer time I asked for an interpretation of this dream and I believe it was given to me.

Over my life I’ve been scared of a lot of things. I was scared of my first grade teacher who claimed the anatomy skeleton in her cabinet was a high school student who didn’t do his homework, so she locked him in the cabinet. I was scared of being teased at school. I didn’t trust anyone or believe what anyone said to me because so often in the past the same person who said they were my friend would start teasing me or say things behind my back.

I remember my first day in high school Health and PE when a student came up to the table where I was sitting and started talking to me. I said barely two words to him and kept reading my book. I always had a book with me. Books were safe, and they kept other people away. He eventually left, but luckily he didn’t give up and became one of my best friends throughout high school. But it took time because I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust that he really wanted to be my friend.

As I look back I realize that I’ve had a lot of issues with trusting people and really believing people when they say something to me. And it all goes back to childhood, to the people who were supposed to be trustworthy and weren’t. To the friends who were supposed to support me but didn’t. And I wonder how many friendships did I miss out on because of these fears? Because I was expecting this new person to treat me the way another person had?

And recently this happened again, all due to a misunderstanding of a word being used. She used it one way but I understood it another. I sent an email full of anger and hurt because I was feeling accused of something. She called me back asking what caused this? Why was I talking about this because that’s not what she meant. And that’s when I realized there had been a misunderstanding.

But it didn’t matter. Even though I apologized, it doesn’t matter. Yes, I truly thought the word was being used in a particular way, but it doesn’t matter. Yes, I felt accused of a wrongdoing, but it doesn’t matter.

I still attacked a dolphin with a knife. I still hurt it. The wound is there and it’s not going away because I said I was sorry. It’s not going away because I was scared or that I believed it was truly something dangerous.

God told me to stop expecting danger where it doesn’t exist. Stop assuming someone is going to hurt you. Stop lashing out at people because you’re hurting them, and they don’t deserve it. They aren’t the ones who hurt you. The ones who did hurt you are in the past, and they need to stay there. From this day forward, accept that the people who come into your life mean what they say, they won’t hurt you and don’t wish you any harm. And know these people who come into your life may even be a source of help if you just let them in.

 

Leave a Reply

Loading...
Sign up and receive The SMART Goal Planning Guide for Dreamers PDF