Prepare to Suffer or Prepare to Heal

Jul 20

Prepare to Suffer or Prepare to Heal

Through June and July join me for Creative Life Book Club. I’ll discuss a nugget of truth from a current book I’m reading. The current book is Real Magic by Wayne Dyer.

Week 1 – Releasing Limited Beliefs

Week 2 – Beyond Cause and Effect

Week 3 – Acting As If

Week 4 – Real Magic Within Relationships

Week 5 – Prosperity Consciousness vs Scarcity Consciousness

Week 6 – Miracles are an Inside Job

Only one more chapter to go!

This chapter is difficult for me. It’s hard to let go of a lot of beliefs about my physical body. This isn’t the usual “I need to lose 10 pounds” or “My ears poke out.” I have a physical, genetic disorder called Lipedema. I’ve had it since I was a teenager and it’s affected my life ever since. I wrote about my discovery of this disorder during June, Lipedema Awareness Month, and how I was diagnosed three to four years ago. I had this disorder and didn’t know it. That’s what makes a lot of this chapter difficult for me, as Dr. Dyer discusses changing our physical body through our thoughts and beliefs.

I want to believe this disorder can be cured or reversed, but these are my issues:

I did everything I knew to do for such a long time BEFORE knowing a name for this disorder and nothing changed. So now that I know this disorder has a name, how can I fight it? I’m not sure I’m making any sense here. I guess it seems to me it would be easier to overcome this disorder when I didn’t know I had it than afterward. Before I knew the name and what it was, I could have hope that there was help. Now that I know the name and know that – at this time – there is limited treatment and no known cure – where is my hope?

One of the lines in the chapter spoke to me. It was, “prepare to suffer or prepare to heal.” I also know that knowing the name of something gives great power. In the fairy tale of Rumpelstiltskin, knowing the name of the little man gave the miller’s daughter power over him. The Jewish faith has different names for God – Adonai, Jehovah Nissi, Jehovah Jirah. Names are considered symbols of something, the essence of something. The act of naming something and knowing the true name of something gives dominion over that thing.

So bear with me as I work through my thoughts on healing from within.

I knew when I was exercising and having issues that something was wrong. I prayed for guidance and help, and it came. I learned the name of this disorder. I learned that there was nothing I was doing wrong in regards to my health. But I still have fear around this disorder because of how it looks, how it manifests in the body. This disorder causes a distortion to my legs and arms. I don’t feel as if I can wear shorts, dresses, skirts, bathing suits, etc. I know that I CAN – as in I have the ability to. But deep within I feel a guilt or shame about how I look, as if I’m not worthy or “allowed” to wear those types of clothing around other people. I also know that people are cruel and mean and I don’t want to expose myself, as it were, to bullies.

But this sentence speaks to me. Prepare to suffer or prepare to heal. I want to prepare to heal. I want to do all within my power to heal my body. I have no idea what that will look like. I know I would like to have more normal looking legs and arms, but is that for myself or for other people? So that I won’t feel as if I need to apologize for existing? So I won’t believe that I’m ugly, as I talked about in the last post. So the first thing I need to figure out, for myself, is what healing would look like to me. And I need to be open as to how it comes to me.

Several years ago I discovered a liposuction technique that several doctors in Europe were doing for Lipedema patients there. They call it a cure, but I look at it more as a treatment option. It wasn’t until I heard of Dr. Josef Stutz in Germany and his WAL liposuction technique that I felt pulled in that direction. This technique is safer than the other techniques I’d read about and he has several years of experience using this technique with women in all stages of lipedema. I knew – this is my doctor and this is the procedure.

But I still struggle. I struggle with my body now and the issues I’m now facing at 43 years old. This disorder is progressive. If it’s not delayed in some way with some type of treatment I face the possibility of daily pain, increased edema in my legs and eventual loss of mobility. But something else in this chapter spoke to me – Behave in my body as if it’s what I want it to be.

So I have a lot of work to do in this area. I know this will continue to be a struggle for me because I have so many limited beliefs to face and work through. It will be hard for me to behave in my body as I want it to be, because all I want to do is live my life like a normal person. I want to be healthy and I want to have the care I need to stop a progressive disorder.

Right now, this is a journey I’m beginning. This is a journey to prepare to heal, and one day I’ll be able to say I’m healed. I have a lot of personal fears to work through as well in this regard.

My actions are based on the advice given by Dr. Dyer in allowing the magic to help in my healing:

Ask “What can I learn from this disorder? What is the lesson here? What does it look like for my body to be healthy”

Discover the answers to these questions through daily meditation and prayer.

Follow intuition and guidance within as it leads me to doing what’s right for my body.

Behave in my body as if it’s what I want it to be.

This will be a long journey for me as I discover the path to health for MY body. I’ll keep you updated.

 

 

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