Miracles are an Inside Job

Jul 13

Miracles are an Inside Job

Through June and July join me for Creative Life Book Club. I’ll discuss a nugget of truth from a current book I’m reading. The current book is Real Magic by Wayne Dyer.

I can’t believe this book is almost finished! Join along if you haven’t already:

Week 1 – Releasing Limited Beliefs

Week 2 – Beyond Cause and Effect

Week 3 – Acting As If

Week 4 – Real Magic Within Relationships

Week 5 – Prosperity Consciousness vs Scarcity Consciousness

I need to go back and read over a lot of my own notes. It’s amazing how you read something over and over and get different information each time. New things tend to pop out at you depending on where you are in your life journey. I know I need to go back to relationships and read up again about not having expectations of people. I also need to read last week’s notes about prosperity consciousness. It always seems like things hit you most when you’re trying to work out issues in a particular area.

Again, so much was in this chapter and I have so many notes. But what hit me the most wasn’t at the beginning or middle of the chapter. It was at the end. This statement:

Miracles are an inside job. Go there to create the magic sought in life.

Chapter 6 is all about Real Magic and your personality. We all get to choose our own personality. Yes, really. Dr. Dyer discusses the “big lies” we’ve been lead to believe for most of our lives regarding our personality. Lies told to us as children like, “You take after your mother/father/grandmother/grandfather. They couldn’t do that either.” Or the lie we tell ourselves, “I’ve always been this way and I’ll never change.”

I know deep down this isn’t true. It isn’t true of me because I remember being different. I’m in the process now of growing out of a shy phase, a phase I’ve been in since I was 8 years old.

I tend to think of my life as “before the move” and “after the move”. “The Move” was my family’s move from Kansas to Georgia, the place they called home but I didn’t remember or know. My dad was in the military and all of my memories up to age 8 was traveling to different places – I remember Germany and Kansas. I don’t remember Kentucky or Texas. I had friends. I had slumber parties and birthday parties. But in 1978 my dad separated from the Army and my parents decided to move back to Georgia. I had to leave all my friends, and even though I got their addresses I was 8. I had no idea how to write or mail a letter, and the addresses eventually were lost.

My mom stayed in Kansas with my second brother, who was still a baby, and my dad flew to Georgia with me and my next youngest brother. We stayed with our grandparents, and this is when everything changed.

My dad left to go back to Kansas and my brother and I were with grandparents we barely knew. We’d been there before, of course, on visits, but never long term. And while they meant well and still do – I love my grandparents very much – they had different ideas on raising kids and what kids wore to school. And in their day girls did not wear pants to school. So I went to a brand new school with a horrible haircut, wearing a skirt and a blouse made for an 80 year old woman (it was white with a huge bow tied on the front) and clunky shoes. I looked around my new classroom in a town I didn’t know, with kids I didn’t know, living with people I barely knew and my parents in another state. And a girl turned to a friend behind her and said, “She’s ugly.”

Those words have stayed with me for 35 years. I’m turning 43 on the 16th and I still remember this event to this day. That was the day that I changed. My personality changed. I wasn’t the happy, fun little girl I used to be. I’d always loved to read, but I withdrew even more, hiding in books, hiding in my room, then making up stories where I could be that happy girl again. I’ve been this person for so long I can barely remember myself at 7, the girl who never sat still and had friends to play with every day and all summer.

I changed to protect myself. I can see it now, looking back from an adult perspective. I didn’t stand up for myself when I was bullied. I felt ugly, so I began to see myself as ugly. Even when I did make friends and boys would talk to me, it was hard for me to trust that they really liked me.

But I’m slowly finding that girl again – the girl who loved adventure and travel and was happy in her own skin. I’m tired of hiding behind fiction. I want to write truth, share my ideas and know that I’m worthy of being heard. Breaking some of the limited beliefs that have had a hold on me for so long has helped tremendously. It’s not easy, though, because I’ve been hiding and apologizing for my presence, for my existence, for too long. I felt that if something went wrong, then it must be my fault somehow. Because I was ugly.

That is the limited belief that overshadows everything in my life. But changing this personality I’ve adopted is important to me, because this person isn’t the real me. The real me is in there somewhere, but like Dr. Dyer says in this chapter, now I know better. I KNOW I’m not ugly. I KNOW I’m a child of the Living God. I KNOW I’ve been created to do something special in this world. I KNOW my purpose and I want to live on purpose.

This chapter talks about the Big Lies we’ve been told, and this is my Big Lie. Now I can see it as a lie when I couldn’t before. In order to overcome this Big Lie – that I’m ugly, not worthy, in the way – I have to learn new skills and behaviors.

First, I have to KNOW that I’m a spiritual being in a physical body. I am not my body. I also need to KNOW that God loves me, and I’m perfect in His sight. I know this because God told me so in His Word.

Next, I need to change my thinking so that I believe it. Knowing is one thing, believing is another.

To believe this fact about myself – that God loves me and I’m worthy of all good things – I need to change my habits, attitudes and behaviors. Dr. Dyer list several tools to help with this: Visualization, Acting As If, Remove Doubt – the possibilities are limitless!, Positive Self Talk, Know I’m a Purposeful Being, Trust Intuition, Meditation and Preplaying (or prepaving as others call it.)

I’ve started several of these behavior modifications already, and along with the other information from the book – releasing expectations, asking nothing from anyone – I believe I’m seeing some progress in getting back to the personality I had before “The Move”. But I’m keeping the best parts of me, the parts I love and my family loves. Maybe I don’t need to find the Christina from before “The Move”. Maybe I just need to find out who I am right now, now that I see the Big Lie for what it is.

You are beautiful. God loves you. Know this as truth and embrace it.

Have you found your Big Lie? Let me know in the comments or get in touch on Facebook or Twitter.




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